Comfort Through Stars

Wrote this last night during a time of prayer, while listening to this song. Give it a listen while you read. I think the music supplements it well. Anyway, enjoy!

Our tear drops fall like drifting stars
We never really know what happens
It's as if all these emotions are concocted in our souls
Only to be expressed by the unique sparkling tear drop.
Gorgeous.
Every drop is the same, yet perfectly distinct.
Each tied and sown together with its own specific meaning.

I wish I cried more.

I wish I could experience the gravity of every emotion
And see it pieced together like God pieced together the sky of the universe.
Beautiful.

It seems I can never fully understand my tears
Only thing I know is that where my tears are,
The Comforter is there as well

Through every heartbreak
Through every disappointment
Through every trial
We find ourselves Empty
Unsatisfied
Disconnected
Broken

Our tears are a metaphorical "White Flag"
Because this roller-coaster ride of an adventure is too much for us to handle on our own
It's a burden we aren't properly equipped to bare.

When the Comforter sees our White Flags
He grieves AND rejoices
Grieves - because we are so tragically hurting
Rejoices - because He has a new opportunity to LOVE us!

If you break it down,
I think you can say my tears have two kinds of DNA
One is of Pain,
Hurt
Betrayal
Brokenness
Doubt
Death

Yet there is another one after I feel the Comforter cradle me like His Son.
That one is one of Hope,
Of Freedom
Of Love
Of Comfort
Of Resilience
Of Triumph
Of Restoration
Of Revival
Of Resurrection
Of Completion

It's Amazing!
The intricate design and perfection of a tear
It expresses our souls more vastly than any word,
Any song,
Or any picture,
To the point where only the Comforter can fully comprehend!

The most beautiful part about that is
That the Comforter uses that knowledge to Comfort us perfectly
Far more superior to any human creation

I wish I cried more of Joy!!

I wish I could show the perfect expression of my soul so terribly bad!
Because He deserves it!
You deserve it God!
You deserve it Comforter!
Healer!
Father!

These stars I have shed,
I am not ashamed
Because you see the true meaning in every. single. twinkle.

And when my stars burn out
You graciously give me new ones
For an incomprehensible form of prayer
Which is by far the most glorious
And elegant
And perfect prayer You have blessed us with

Oh I long for your Comforting presence oh Comforter!

I'm so sick of feeling like I am too dirty to have it

Oh Comforter! I have done so many terrible things
I cannot forgive myself for!
To where I push You away!
Saying I am too filthy

But through the stars I shed right now,
I finally see.
That You died. So You could Comfort - me.

Your stars of blood obliterated the separation between us!
Shouting "Thank You" will never be enough
To express my thankfulness, my joy

So I will leave You with my tears
Which twinkle like stars
The stars You set in the sky
To perfectly express the joy and thankfulness of my soul,
Which is always unique, special, new
And never. Grows. Old.

Just how powerful are our words?!?!

It's been a while since I last blogged. Sorry about that.  I needed to take a break with going back to school and such. But I am back with a few new things to blog about. First being the power of the mouth.

Since second semester started, my friend Luke and I have been meeting for lunch each day, and we read our bibles together. Sometimes we do our own thing, other times we work together. During out first couple weeks, we looked into the Bible to find out exactly what God has to say about the power of our mouth or tongue. It was interesting to say the least.

I think as Christians in today's culture, it is really easy to fall into talking just like everyone else does: Using the same figures of speech, profanity, dirty jokes, gossip, rude sarcasm, etc.

I myself struggle with this too, probably more so than a lot of you. But diving into the Word has really opened my eyes to just how powerful each and every word we speak is.

First off, Jesus has some bold. words about the tongue in Matthew. In chapter 12:34-37 he states "You brood of vipers! How can you speak good, when you are evil? For our of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.....I tell you, on the day of judgement people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by you words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned"

Also, in Matthew 15:11, Jesus says, "It is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but what comes out of the mouth, this defiles a person"

James refers to the tongue as a fire, a world of unrighteousness, a restless evil that is full of deadly poison, a blessing and a cursing. 

Oh...CRAP! That is bold and powerful stuff right there!

I hear people say, "Well the Bible never does say not to swear, so I'm gonna go ahead and do it".

I think Jesus makes it extremely clear that if we speak foul language, make dirty jokes, use our words to tear down another, or talk behind someone's back, then it shows where our heart is at - not a very good place.

If our hearts are truly devoted to God, as many of us claim, then we need to speak like it is also. Instead of using our language for negative things, we must use our words to encourage people, respect people, and most importantly, use it to honor God. It is an act of worship!

Too often I think about the social implications of my words rather than what will encourage people and honor God. I get too caught up in if it will make people laugh, or think better of me, then if it is God pleasing or not. Even if it is a friend that can handle mass amounts of ridicule and sarcasm, that doesn't mean it is okay for us to speak negatively towards them, whether it is sarcastic or not.

In Ephesians, Paul talks about our words saying, "Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up" (4:29).

So often, I find myself complaining about this or that. Those words are worthless and meaningless. They are not honoring nor encouraging. Bottom line, I need to keep my mouth shut more often when I feel that way. I need to have a filter.

Being a believer in Christ and receiving the Holy Spirit, the words that come out of my mouth must be different than what they were before I accepted Christ.

David says in the Psalms "He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise" (40:3).

2 Samuel 23:2 says "The Spirit of the Lord speaks by me; His word is on my tongue"

We are speaking of the Spirit. We are a representation for Christ to the rest of the world. In being that we cannot our lips run wild, so to speak.

James also states that a fig tree cannot bear olives, neither a salt pond have fresh water. The same thing is true for our tongue. We cannot speak both evil and righteousness! Not one of our words is neutral. It is either God-honoring or evil. We must use our words for good!

If you look at many stories in the Bible, you see words are powerful. They are powerful enough to raise people from the dead, cast our demons, heal the sick, completely change lives in a positive way. However, they are also used to cut someone down, condemn them, curse them, and even kill them. We must be wise with our words.

The point I really want to hit home is that our words are powerful, no matter if we recognize that or not. And if we can use them for encouraging others constantly and praising God constantly, people will start to notice there is something different about people follow Jesus; That they don't care about what is socially cool, but they are concerned more about showing Jesus' love to everyone through using their words to encourage and make peoples' days. And that alone will change lives!

So lets partner with the Holy Spirit, so God can use us as instruments to show His unfailing love!

A filthy ragamuffin, given redemption through Christ,

David

PS: If you have any questions do not be afraid to ask me!

Oh, and shout out to the Russians how read this! You are awesome and I am praying for you!

A Very Special Christmas Gift

Good afternoon fellas! Now that school has finally finished for this semester, and I have returned from my trip to Denver, I can finally sit down and write. Boy, have I missed it. 

Christmas is coming up, and I know many of you have returned home for the holidays. Some will be seeing family members for the first time in a long time. This can be extremely stressful and extremely annoying. 

I know for me, sometimes it can get kind of tense in the house, and I am sure some of you can also say that is true. The holidays are an easy time for evil to creep into our lives and affect our outlook on our families - make us negative and bitter and unforgiving.

None of that will change if we keep approaching our friends and family with a crappy attitude. No relationships will improve without a change of heart.

I think what we need are joyful hearts. Joyful in serving God in what ever we do. 

"You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven."- Jesus (Matthew 5:14-16)

We need to show the love of Jesus to our family and friends, not keep it to ourselves. Jesus says we should let our light shine. He isn't just talking about times where it is easy, but also times that are extremely difficult. Let me tell you a story...

Brother Lawrence, was a 17th century monk that was a member of a Paris monastery. However, Brother Lawrence was not the greatest monk. Actually he was the least - the cook. Although Brother Lawrence was never at the top of the food chain in the monastery, he glorified and honored God in whatever way he could, and he was extremely joyful to do so!

I have read stories of Brother Lawrence, being lame, traveling all over Europe to attain special communion wine. Although the journey was extremely difficult and painful because he was lame, he was still extremely joyful in doing so because it was an opportunity for him to serve God. How amazing is that?

People from all over Europe would travel to the Monastery, JUST TO SEE HIM WASH DISHES because he was so joyful doing so!!! And through his actions and joyful heart, people were changed. And we complain if we have to make our beds, help our parents with a chore, or clean up? Truly this is not how we should act!

I have realized the most tedious and annoying tasks can be used to glorify God and show love to others. 

I know our living situations might not be the most ideal, but we cannot let that stop us from showing God's heart to our families. Because honestly, that is the only way their hearts will be changed.

It doesn't matter if you are the youngest in your family, or the least respected, or the one that has been wronged and hurt over and over: It is time to be the bigger person.  It is time to be the more mature person. It is time to show Jesus to them. It is time to show love and forgive. What better Christmas gift is that?

So I challenge you and myself: Whether it is taking out the garbage, cleaning, cooking, or even obeying your parents' orders. Do it with a joyful heart, and they shall see Christ. Their hearts will be changed.  It might not be over night, but the process will be ignited. 

This will not only honor them, but your Heavenly Father. And He will be overflowed with joy seeing that His servant is serving others with the heart of Christ. 

Have a Merry Christmas! Don't forget about Jesus, who loves you no matter what you have done. 

May you be seized by the power of a great affection that IS the grace and love of Christ!

A ragamuffin made clean through nothing more than God's grace, 

David 

PS: Feels like this video relates a little bit. This is a little shameless plug for my friend James ;) What he does isn't always easy, but he does it with a joyful heart.

Seized by the Power of a Great Affection

Hello reader! It has been 2 weeks since I last posted, and I finally have something to blog about. I feel like there are a lot of heavy hearts out there reading this and I feel lead to bring some encouragement.

Maybe right now you feel hurt from betrayal, or being lied to.  Maybe it is because you have a strained relationship with somebody that you wish could be mended. Maybe you feel taken advantage of.  Maybe you feel hopeless that nothing good can happen. Maybe you are not satisfied by the things you have chased after in life, although you believed they would bring you true happiness and contentment.  Maybe you have a hole in your heart; one that nothing you have searched for can fill. Maybe you doubt a turnaround in your life can happen. Maybe, you feel completely dejected and meaningless. Maybe, you feel like garbage, a failure, a good-for-nothing.

Well let me just say, there is HOPE!

This HOPE is everlasting! This HOPE is fulfilling! This HOPE brings satisfaction! This HOPE brings a peace in your heart! This HOPE brings freedom! This HOPE brings LIFE!

This HOPE comes from Jesus. Yeshua. Elohim. Yahweh. God. Lord. The Savior. The Provider. The Healer.

God loves you and cares about you more than your mind can ever comprehend.  Maybe for some of you, you need to truly accept the love and hope that He has to offer. He can bring you through trial and bring victory!

"He rescues the needy who calls to him, and the poor who has no one to help. He was pity on the weak and the needy, and saves the needy from death." (Psalm 72:12-13)

"The kingdom of my father cannot be overcome, even by death. In the end everything will be all right. nothing can harm you permanently; no loss is lasting, no defeat more than transitory, no disappointment is conclusive. Suffering, failure, loneliness, sorrow, discouragement, and death will be part of your journey, but the kingdom of God will conquer all these horrors. No evil can resist grace forever."- Brennan Manning, The Ragamuffin Gospel


Nothing is too big for God to overcome! I challenge you to lay down your insecurities to the Lord. Trust Him. Follow His guidance, and see where it leads you.  Maybe offer up a prayer like this:

"God, I don't know you. I don't even know if you are completely real or not. But if you are, God please come into my heart. Fill me up with your love and grace, which I have never experienced before.  I lay down my insecurities, hurts, and baggage and the Your feet Lord.  Please bring restoration. Bring perseverance. Bring strength. Bring love and forgiveness. Make me a new person, the person you have intended me to be. Amen"

Over 100 years ago, New Orleans christians would say that "They were seized by the power of a great affection" when they gave their life up to God. I challenge you to chase after that affection. Take a risk and see where it leads you. If you need any help with how to do that, don't be afraid to ask me.

May grace and peace be with you throughout your walk with God! May He deliver you from your deepest darkest holes! Rely on him!

A filthy ragamuffin redeemed through God's perfect and holy grace,

David

A Direction? Say what!?

Hey you! I hope that when ever you are reading this, you are having a blessed day/night. It has been about a week or so since I last posted, and I thought I would share something that has happened since.

Since I arrived at ACU, I have been completely confident God is leading me towards ministry.  However, I have never really had a passion for a specific form of ministry such as youth ministry, or full-time international missions, etc. I have been patiently waiting for God to make it clear where he wants me to be and what he wants me to do.  I believe what ever he gives me a continuous passion for, in terms of ministry, that is what I am supposed to do.

On Saturday night, I went to a coffee shop in downtown Abilene to read some of The Ragamuffin Gospel (which was awesome). After having a good amount of reading time, I drove around town and had some personal time with God in prayer and worship.  As I was singing in the car, a thought popped in my head.

That thought was about church planting.

I don't know if it was God speaking to me or my mind just thinking about something I never really thought of before, but I was suddenly filled with a passion I haven't felt before.

Being in Abilene, I have realized I am more of a city-person than I thought haha. Right now, nothing would be better than going into a city, with an amazing team God has assembled for me, and plant a church in the heart of a city.

It would be extremely tough, but right now, I really feel led to that when I get out of college. I want to be part of the Jesus movement in a city that desperately needs him.  When I think of cities like that, I automatically think of Chicago and Milwaukee. Maybe that is where I will end up eventually.

I cannot help but think about the enormous Jesus-movement that is taking place in Seattle right now. Years ago, Seattle used to be the least-churched city in all of America. It was in desperate need of churches. However, God has used Mark Driscoll and his community called Mars Hill Church, as well as many other devoted pastors and servants, to slowly grow Seattle into a Jesus-loving city. They are no longer the least-churched city in America, and is increasingly growing the body of Christ there.

I want to be apart of God's great plan in another city.

I want to be part of a movement so enormous, that it will infect the whole city with Jesus' love and compassion, and then the whole country.

So that is where I am at right now. I feel as if God has finally given me a direction in what I am supposed to do in my life. It could change any second, but that is where I am at. What ever God choses to do with my life, I will accept it. But again, that is where I feel led at this moment.

I will continue to pray about this and my direction going forward. I would appreciate if you would do the same, while also asking God to lead in your life as well. I can't wait to look back on this 10 years from now and see where we are all at.

Here is something that has encouraged me to step out my comfort zone, and hopefully will do the same for you. It is based off of Isaiah 61:

"The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is upon you. Because the LORD has annointed you to preach the Good News to the poor.
He has sent you to bind up the brokenhearted. To proclaim freedom for the captives. And release darkness from the prisoners. To proclaim the year of the LORD's favor. And the day of vengeance of our God. To comfort all who mourn. And to provide for those who grieve in Zion - to bestow on them a crown of beauty, instead of ashes; The oil of gladness instead of mourning and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of dispare. This nameless, faceless generation, this army of the LORD, will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of His splendor.

They will rebuild the anciet ruins and restore the places long devastated. They will renew the ruined cities that have been devastated for generations. This is the hour of an awakening, of a genreation, of an army of the LORD!" - Daniel Bashta

May you be infected with the incurable disease that is the Heart of Christ!

A ragamuffin and nothing more,

David Neill

Lets be real and put down our masks

For some reason I feel led to write this. So I guess I will go through with it.  Maybe it is for someone that is dealing with a heavy amount of guilt. Either way, I believe each and everyone of us can take something from this. 


About a month ago, I had a good friend recommend a book to me called The Ragamuffin Gospel. I downloaded it on to my iPad and it has been a great read so far. I am only about 6-7 chapters through it but the author, Brennan Manning, hits some extremely important notes about God's grace.


In the book, Manning emphasizes on the point of truly accepting oneself for who they really are - a ragamuffin. A ragamuffin, for those who aren't familiar with that term, is a ragged, broken, disreputable person.  Whether you believe it or not, we are all broken on some kind of level.  Personally I have had points in my life where I felt like the most broken individual on this planet - and all that is thanks to some of the poor decisions I have made in my life. I am sure I am not the only one who has felt this at some point in their life. 


But don't let the fact that you aren't perfect drag your spirit down!!! You are forgiven and made clean every single millisecond because of Christ's sacrifice!  Praise God and His everlasting grace!  Brennan describes it perfectly here:


"Jesus comes for sinners, for those as outcasts as tax collectors and for those caught up in squalid choices and failed dreams. He comes for corporate executives, street people, superstars, farmers, hookers, addicts, IRS agents, AIDS victims, and even used car salesmen. Jesus not only talks with these people but dines with them - fully aware that His table fellowship with sinners will raise eyebrows of religious bureaucrats who hold up the robes and insignia of their authority to justify their condemnation of the truth and their rejection of the gospel of grace"- Brennan Manning, The Ragamuffin Gospel.


Bottom line, all of us are those broken people Jesus chooses to dine with. Don't be ashamed because Jesus wants us to embrace that. The people who can't accept the fact they aren't perfect (and act like they are indeed that way) are frowned upon by Jesus. There is no shame in admitting that we don't have it all together, so why should we act like we do? Too prideful maybe?  By accepting who we are, people with flaws and struggles, we can fully accept God's grace. 


I guess what I am trying to say is that we need to be real.  We need to stop thinking we need to hide our flaws and failures.  We need to stop feeling embarrassed about failing. Instead, we must be real with ourselves and be open about our crap to others. God knows it anyways. And when we accept that, people begin to truly see just how wide God's grace and love for us really is.  Christ died for the broken, not the perfect - so why put up a wall and be reluctant to admit failure?


So to the person who feels too guilty to even talk to God or to go to church: You are a beloved child of God. Don't let Satan and his demons convince you otherwise. You are not the only one that has felt that way, don't be tricked into thinking you are. Jesus came to love the broken, so don't feel as if you cannot go to Him. 


To the person who doesn't want to admit they are broken on some level: Mark 2:17 says "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners." Don't be afraid to admit where we have failed. Be real with people: Your friends, your family, people who need comfort, etc. Here's a question to ask yourself: What keeps you from doing that? For me, it is a pride issue. I still struggle with it today. But trust me, the more real we are with ourselves and others, the more God is seen and experienced. Amen!


Sorry if this seemed like I was all over the place. I am just voicing my thoughts.  Lets be real with one another, put down the masks. In doing so God will use that to help expand His kingdom! :)


May God's grace and love overflow our souls!


A broken ragamuffin redeemed through God's grace,


Cowboy Dave

Howdy Y'all!!

Hello everyone! This is David Neill blogging from his dorm at 1:38 AM on a lovely Tuesday morning.  After settling down in Abilene, Texas, and after from some encouragement from one of my best friends, Tim Rendall (whom I love very much), I have decided to start a blog.

Many might be wondering why I am blogging. It is not to share my odd and awkward experiences being a northerner misplaced in West Texas - although I might share some every now and then.  This blog has a different focus: To share my spiritual journey with those who might be curious of how God is shaping me into the man He has intended me to be. Through this blog, I hope God's grace and compassion will be glorified, not my own personal accomplishments. This is about Him and what He is doing, not me.

So stay tuned friends and family.  I hope this blog provides encouragement for each and every one of us.  Feel free to comment and discuss. I look forward to seeing God work through this.

May God's grace overflow your soul with love and compassion.

Nothing but a southern ragamuffin,

Cowboy Dave